I needed this today. A lot has happened over the past year and SO much has changed. Sometimes, when a situation presents it’s self, I rack my brain and lose myself trying to bend and fix the situation into something I think it should be or something I want it to be. When all I need to do it just let it run it’s course and not stress so much. If someone doesn’t want to be in my life, I’m not going to freak out or stress and find out exactly why or think about it all the time. If I didn’t get the job I wanted, or something bad happens, I need to take it how it is and just live in the moment.
If you haven’t yet, go check out my YouTube channel! The last episode is of Dave’s performance at The Tippler! It was his first performance playing live in a loooonnggg time and he did so good! make sure to check out my channel and subscribe so you can see other weird crap we do!YouTube.com/janddsbigadventure
Anonymous asked: I'm having a hard time letting go of my insecurities, jealousy and anxieties. Its really starting to take a toll in my relationship with my boyfriend as well as individually (feeling like im not beautiful enough, funny enough, thin enough) You get the picture. So I'm asking how do you cope with any jealousy and insecurities you have when it comes to you as an individual and being in a relationship?
Honestly, I battle with these issues as well, like all of the time. I am always thinking I could be more fit, be less of a basket case, and I am a very jealous person. It is very hard for me to let it all go, but it helps with being reassured by my boyfriend that he loves everything about me. I think I have a hard time with it because I am so in awe that someone could feel that way about me. Then I think, I love him the same way .. so it can’t be that crazy right? When I feel those issues boiling, I try and ignore it and just be confident. I work out, and if my body isn’t looking the way I wished, at least I tried and this is just what I was given, and i gotta work it. When girls look at my boyfriend or try to hit on him, instead of getting worked up over it and wanting to go off, I just sit back and smile and think how lucky I am that I have such a good lookin’ man by my side! I have seen relationships crumble by one of them being so insecure and jealous that the other just snaps and is over it. You have to look at it as bettering yourself, and doing it in a positive and confident way. Confidence really is key, and the more comfortable you get with being confident, those insecurities start to get a lot smaller and don’t matter as much.
I’ve gone back and forth wether to write about this, or just keep it to myself and move on. I’ve been struggling with how to even go about talking about it.
First off, when I found out about the death of Robin Williams, it felt like a member of my family had passed, and I know far too well what that feeling truly feels like. Robin Williams has always been a HUGE part of my life. When anyone would ask me who my favorite actor was, since the age of 3, I would say Robin Williams. I remember my mom always saying “nanu nanu” to me. She let me go to a midnight viewing of Hook when it came out. It was so hot in the theater I stripped all of my clothing off except for my pull ups, and I clearly remember it. I named my first dog Wendy after that movie. Any time I wanted to be cheered up, I would pop in a Williams film. He was my comfort zone. I know that in a lot of cases, the funniest, maddest, most entertaining people fall the hardest and have the most demons. I know this all too well …..
Depression runs in my family. Not just generic depression, but manic and extreme anxiety. It is a disease that has affected my family in many ways. My father suffered from extreme, manic depression. I never really knew what Dad I would be coming home from school to. I never knew which dad was going to be on the other end of the telephone. He went on medication, but became dependent on that for happiness. It was a constant factor in my family’s dynamic. I won’t go into more, because it does still affect me and still doesn’t sit well with me.
I struggle from depression, it is natural to me considering half my family struggles from it. I have had dark thoughts, I have had my highs and lows. It is something that just kind of sits with me and I have to choose when I wake up in the morning if I will let it be a part of my day, or try and ignore it. I have gone on medication, but hated it. I choose to try and deal with it by prayer, breathing, talking to people. I have my bad days, and I have my good days. I take natural mood enhancers like St. John’s Wart and it does help a lot. As many of my friend’s know, my anxiety is very bad and my natural reaction when I am anxious is to throw up. I throw up a lot … and I try to play it off like it’s funny but it’s really not.
What I am saying here is, the fact that a man who gave me so much comfort through laughter and would lift me up with his goofy characters or even some of his serious ones, struggled from something that I know so much about & saddens me to no end. It is not a joke people, I am lucky enough to have family members and friends who keep me in check, and I am forever grateful for that. I just can’t imagine how bad it could have been for him to take his own life, when he had MILLIONS of people who love and adore him. It breaks my heart.
I hope that the world will take depression/anxiety a bit more seriously. Not make fun of it and the commercials they put out for awareness. Some people use it as an excuse, they think it’s funny to say they have anxiety. Like that little photo of “Anxiety girl” as a super hero with a bunch of problems? That isn’t funny or cute to me, it never has been. If you truly struggle with it, it isn’t a fucking joke (sorry for the curse word I just feel like it was necessary there). Anyways ..
Please, if you have depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it. Don’t think someone will judge you or that no one understands. Someone will understand and do everything in their power to help you.
R.I.P Robin Williams, you will be truly missed.
My first vlog is up on my new youtube account! We went to a friend’s birthday party at a karaoke bar, got drunk & weird .. the usual! Hope y’all enjoy and please subscribe!!